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SmugleyPR 2017 Christmas Catalog

The fine folk at SmugleyPR have once again stunned the world with an astonishing Christmas Catalogue that features music you never dreamt possible (and quite often for good reason).

Here at Synchrotones we had the good fortunes of receiving review copies of the catalogue ahead of the public release; because let’s face it… that’s the only good reason why anyone would want to run a review site. And so the Synchrotones team hired a venue in central London where we listened to the released, danced where inappropriate, ate good food, drank shitloads of booze (absolutely necessary to get through Balfe’s Valerian; yeah we know it says Zimmer on the cover, but you’re not fooling the 6 of us) and compared notes. The full reviews will probably never get posted, for fear of retaliation by composers, and for fear of being blacklisted on future mailing lists. So whilst we’re still hungover and not giving much in the way of a shit, here are some previews.

BLADE RUNNER – JJ

From the Synchrotones reviews: “Johhannssonnss’ Blade Runner 2049 is an exquisite display of masterful composing. The music oozes with notes and harmonies. There’s a sublime rhythmic undercurrent that allows the listener to get a sense of time passing by. The score is made up of exactly 2049 notes, 49 different chords made from 20 different keys. The finale cue, Run Blade Runner Run, is a whopping 20 minutes and 49 seconds long and features no less than 3 of the aforementioned chords. The orchestrations, by Johhann Johhannssonn’s brother Johhanness Adreas Magnus Johhannssonn, are exemplary of the rich heritage of Iceland. The intricate play between violins and violas, between cello and basses and most impressively between the saw-tooth synths, the triangle waves and square pulses is on par with the best works by anyone. Do sit tight for the hidden track… a new song by Bjork, dressed up a like a Mongolian Cockatoo, squawking like an Ivory Manatee. Jawdropping.

DUNKIRK – AD

From the Synchrotones review: “The level of detail in Desplat’s score is simply and literally incomprehensible. The human brain cannot physically cope with so much information in such quick succession. NHS England have reported a 67% increase in brain-related injuries following the release of the score, with reports of migraines, ear-bleeds, eye hemorrhaging and in extreme cases exploding heads! I only made it halfway into the third cue, before passing out. Luckily my partner was nearby and managed the turn off the music before collapsing herself. I’m on the mend, but am having to type this with one hand, as my other is still paralyzed. It was worth it though. The music is glorious, like stepping into Walhalla (which you may well do if you listen for too long), as opposed to Zimmer’s Dunturd.

TROYTACULAR – JH, GY

On Twitter Synchrotones twittered: “It’s good but it’s not complete. I’m still holding out for the Endangered Motif Edition, which features every 4-note motif in isolation.”

TRANSFORMER – SJ

From the Synchrotones review: “This score reminds me of going to the dentist. The nervous anticipation as you sit down; with the sound of machinery and screams bleeding through the thin walls. Then, that gutwrenching feeling as the inside of your head is being scrapped with razor sharp needles. Some thrillseekers may get a kick out of it, but I can’t wait to spit and rinse.

 

 

LALALALA LA LAND – ??

Sorry Smuggers… Found this update via LatestNewsAboutSoundtracks.com: “there’s been a mistake. Apologies all round. It’s actually Moonlight that’s receiving the Complete Musical Experience. The complete lunar eclipse edition will feature many cues you already know from this grand score, accompanied by an equal many cues that you have not yet heard. It features alternate takes on many of the piano performances… with reverb, without reverb, close mics only, far mics only, and so on. It provides a complete 3-dimensional presentation of this fabulous work by …[insert artist name, ED].

LEGEND OF HERCULES – TK

From the Synchrotones review: “Sadly a review is not currently available as Kantelinen has yet to finish, or even start, work on The Legend of Hercules. In fact, historians now cast serious doubt over the existence of Hercules. The film, or however much has been shot so far, may have to be deleted; and there is even talk of sending a cyborg from the future back to the past to kill Renny Harlin’s mother so to avoid this film ever being made. Unsettling developments! Stay tuned!

Lego Movie Recording Sessions at Yellow Brick Studios.

LEGO – MM

From the Synchrotones review: “The score is fantastic, a life in plastic! It’s amazing how different each of the Lego blocks sound. The longer 6×2 bricks sound much deeper than the smaller 1×1 for example. There’s a nice reverb to the flat plates; and the sound of emptying a box full of Lego parts onto the shaving belly of Catalonian bull, in glorious 4Dx no less, is spine-tingling. Do watch out for the ‘Brick Layers’ edition, where the score has been split up into numerous building blocks; allowing you to reconstruct the score in any way you see fit.

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